When Liebchen over at Learning to Fly honored me with the “Honest Scrap” award, I thought at first, “That’s awesome, but there’s no way.” Because honestly? There’s probably only 10 things left that y’all don’t know about me… and if I shared them, there’d be nothing left to write. And that would be le sad.
But then I realized today is Monday and I am hating the fact that I’m at work right now; i.e., lethargy is setting in. Even though I have a 4 day work week followed by a 4 day weekend which ROCKS, IN YOUR FACE!!! Also I’m still kind of drugged from the sleeping pill I took last night (can you tell?), so this could end up pretty interesting, at least for you, as I’ll probably divulge some shiz I wouldn’t have otherwise.
The rules are basically this: I share 10 (hopefully interesting) items about myself you didn’t know before. And then I’m supposed to tag 10 people to do the same, but seeing as this meme/award already has about 30 strains of HPV from bouncing from person to person (what a slut!), I’m going to pass on that and let you save up your share-goodies for TMI Thursday. Seeing as the theme of my blog is sort of over-sharing in general, I knew I’d have to dig deep, so here we go… 10 honest FOR REAL, SON tidbits about lil ol me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. I absolutely can’t imagine having kids. Ironically enough, I also can’t imagine not. There are three reasons I am terrified of pushing a football through my vag, and strangely, none of them have to do with the pain (hellloooo, epidural!):
a) I’m afraid my body will never look as good again, no matter how hard I work at it.
b) Money. Those damn things cost a lot, from what I hear, and I can just see my dreams of traveling the world flushing down the drain.
c) Losing my freedom. FOR-EV-ER.2. Have I mentioned I am selfish? And stubborn? And quick-tempered? These are all true… but they don’t take into account that I have a complete inability to hold a grudge (about most things). In general, I get MAD! And then I get over it… though I do have a couple deal-breakers. Everyone should.
3. In keeping with number one, I think I’m more afraid of getting fat than I am of dying. It’s a close call.
4. I could (and have) spent up to 18 hours with my computer on my lap, reading all the words you write, twittering, interwebbing in general. I just don’t get sick of it, whereas watching me on the laptop for that long makes B kind of ill. He jokes that we’re from different generations, which is funny since we’re basically the same age… but I think he’s right.
5. This little bloggy here is way more important to me than I like to admit… mostly because it’s the only thing in my life right now I’m doing that feels productive. Also because I heart you, obviously.
6. My favorite thing about how I’ve changed since meeting B is that I care more about someone else’s happiness than I do about my own. For the first time in a relationship, I’m asking “What can I do for you?” instead of “How can I make you do what I want?’
7. I battled an eating disorder for the better part of four years. Hence #3… I’ve never really lost weight in a healthy way, at least not to the point where I was happy with how I looked. This is, thank goodness, about three years behind me now. I’m clean!
8. I worry that the real reason I have trouble sleeping is because I will never, ever be satisfied with my life.
9. B and I joke about being well on our way towards alcoholism, but deep down, we both know we’re actually serious.
10. It may seem as though I’m contradicting myself… but I have truly never been happier in my entire life than I am now.
{ 1 trackback }
{ 50 comments }
This is honest, LiLu. Congrats.
Also, I am way more afraid of being fat that I am of dying. That makes me sick.
And we are truly happy for you! You’re sound as a pound, and you deserve all the good things that come your way!
I’m more afraid of being fat(ter) than I am of dying, too. But that’s due more to the general feeling of lethargy that comes with the extra weight than it is an appearance issue. But I will admit, I would take five years off my life in exchange for being thin for the duration.
Very sweet. If I spend that much time on the computer I start having an anxiety attack! And my boy plays the ‘different generations’ card about blogging/computer time too.
“9. B and I joke about being well on our way towards alcoholism, but deep down, we both know we’re actually serious.”
I fight that same thought as well.
Really great post.
#1 reminded me of a woman I saw yesterday who has four boys, two of which are twins. You wouldn’t believe it, but she was thinner than my pinkie.
But ya, I’m actually terrified of having kids too.
#3…yeah, me too. And probably #7, I just never ‘fessed up to it being a problem.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Lemmonex: Coming from you, that means a lot. This must be pretty damn honest.
frecks: 5 years? In a heartbeat.
Kyla Bea: Seriously, he gets jealous of the computer. It’s been better since he realized he could play Madden while I’m writing, though!
justjp: It’s a scary one. At least we’re aware of the possibility, I guess.
Marie: I think the more kids you have, the easier to get back into shape- after all, you’re running around after them all the time!
Liebchen: Someday I’ll have to talk about it on here… I’m just waiting til it comes out by itself, naturally. It ain’t easy.
I don’t think you’ll have to worry about #9….The empty calories will scare you enough to limit the drinking….
I loved this post very open and honest.
If you have problems falling asleep, I can recommend some very boring history books. You’ll be asleep in 3 pages and it’ll take you months to get through a book. I’ve read *way* too many of these….
My senior year I drank every day and weighed the least of my undergrad years and got a 4.0. I whole-heartedly endorse the alcohol consumption!
Very honest, little one. I can definitely relate to #s 8 and 9. I think we all have those moments where we feel/fear that we are not enough/not doing enough. My wish for you is that those moments are fleeting. And when they aren’t, just reread #s 5, 6, and 10
I’m not afraid of being fat, since I’m there already (ugh!). Thankfully, both PB and I point at ridiculously fat couples and promise to each other we won’t let ourselves get that way, that we’ll be fit until we’re old. (Right now I might be fat, but I am physically fit, I just look like a couch potato.)
I am #2 as well. I yell and I get over it half an hour later. I never keep things in, thankfully…
hooray! and ditto on #5: blog = so important.
#6 feels like that when you have kids x 1000000000 and the best bit is you both feel the same way about someone else!
luvies fxxxx
LMB: Ha- I hope you’re right. They did help me to curb it last week. And thanks.
Dr. H: I’ve been doing a lot better with sleeping lately, but I’ll keep a copy of “A History of the English Speaking Peoples” nearby, just in case.
PLT: They are fleeting, thank goodness. Hence #10
Beach Bum: You are crazy if you think you’re fat, mama! And I think #2 is a good way to be.
f.B: True that. I can admit it.
fiona: Hence the reason why I am afraid NOT to have children…
I absolutely agree with all of your reasoning for the having kids thing. Except “c,” kinda. I’ve been wandering around doing whatever for forever. I need something to staple me down.
4 = becky. chuck haaaates it!
This was so honest… my heart just got warm and I just raised my glass to you. It takes a serious sack to be able to admit a few of those things on your list.
This was also just further confirmation of how similar our souls are.
Rachel: I hear you. And it’s not that I’d necessarily WANT to jetset off into the sunset on a whim… like Lisa, (http://lemongloria.blogspot.com), I just want the OPTION.
mylittlebecky: I know, it’s actually caused a couple arguments. But we try to compromise.
Jules: You were actually the one person I thought about tagging… if you’d like to do it, I’d love to hear what you come up with. You’re always just as brutally honest as I am.
For the record, I looked better after having both of my kids than I ever did prior so it’s all about staying healthy, eating healthy and exercising.
You’ve shared some biggies here, Lilu! Good for you.
Oh and we love you too!
When I got sober, I could honestly say I was NOT afraid of dying, I was completely afraid of living. Especially if I had to do it sober.
And here’s the AA definition of an alcoholic.
“If, when you honestly want to you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.”
There you have it.
I am afraid of pushing a football through my vagina and well….not to be too graphic but that it will stretch it out way too much and become a loose goose
is it dorky to say that i like you more after reading this? like i want to lick your face. too much? haha
this was great, i’m proud of you. (wow i just sounded like a mom)
Girl, I hear ya re the kids thing. I too can’t imagine having kids, but yet kind of think I want to be a mom. But dear lord, the thought of not being able to see my feet scares the hell out of me!
Hugs for the honesty, babe!
This was fun! A wonderful & honest post.
Having kids is a strange thing. It always sounds like a great idea to me at first but if someone were to tell me I was pregnant today, I would curl up and sob! (Which is why I thank the lord for BC!)
SMB: Thank you for that nugget of hope! Honestly, I get healthier every year… here’s hoping it keeps going in that direction. XOXO
Kate: I like the AA definition much more than the crap you find online. “If you drink more than 5 drinks in a night, you’re an alcoholic.” Maybe if you’re over a certain age… but not at 25. I guess I’ve got a few more years of playtime to go.
Chele: “Loose goose”… oh, thank you for that imagery. Happy Monday.
alex: You could lick my face if you weren’t already in a TICKLE FIIIIIIGHT!!!! Love you, lady.
Miss Scorpio: Thanks, darling. I KNOW you get me!
laurwilk: Thanks, sugar. Me and my baby-killers are going on a decade together, and I don’t plan on ending our relationship any time soon.
I am scared of getting fat too. And of having kids. What if my kid turns out all wild and crazy like Lindsey Lohan? Or worse what if it.turns out ugly?
Your honesty seemed very genuine
and here’s my thoughts…
#5– I Love my blog too… to the point I question my own sanity on how long I’m sitting in front of the ‘puter getting joy from my blog and other’s blogs!
#2– I knew I liked you! Great minds think alike!
#9– JD and I have this conversation weekly I do believe…. but in our case it’s probably because we didn’t think about #1 BEFORE the little stick showed a pink plus sign! I think #1 (FOUR OF THEM) led us to #9
Keep it up! Honesty is the best policy! (Yeah, that’s the mom in me
Yeah the kid thing… well good news is that you still have time to figure things out so you can relax.
I had to relax about the body part to realize I really didn’t want kids so much for the other reasons.
There is biology and society – two very important pressures out there. I am so surprised that it is still considered so ‘abnormal’ for a woman in a relationship to not want kids… as if something was wrong with her. gawd…
Thank you for sharing Lilu… see – plenty of balls – I knew it
This post makes me love you even more, if possible!
And sadly, I, too, have an extreme fear of becoming fat. I’m trying to be healthy in the way that I maintain my weight, but it is a constant battle.
I like this post a lot, LiLu, and a number of these resonate with me. Your first one hits home in a huge way. And one more fear (in my huge bag of fears on this topic) it’s not just your body you maybe never have back in the same way – you deliver vaginally and your hoo-ha is changed for life.
Bravo on #7. I’m also a veteran ED survivor. One day at a time, baby!! And I might have to adopt TMI Thursdays – I love it!
I would put my laptop on my lap for 18 hourse but I’m afraid of the radiation giving me ball cancer.
That and its hard to look at porn.
I’m pretty terrified of having kids too. But maybe, if I have like 14, they will keep me so busy that I won’t have time to eat, keeping me from getting fat!!! Yes, I have it all figured out!! HAHA….
LBluca77: See, yet more reasons to NEVER EVER procreate.
Miles to go: I can definitely see how they’d drive you to #9!!! At least 4 must keep you in fabulous shape.
Life on Edge: Balls for days! I’m not really worried about the societal implications of not having kids… just my mom. She deserves grandbabies, honestly.
Kate: Aw, thanks darling. Your tweets are always about working out- you’re doing awesome!
Lisa: Thanks, lady- your post the other day reminded me of that (#1). It is so damn scary… but you know you’re doing the right thing.
Frankly, Scarlett: TMI Thursdays are funsies! Join on it this week. And yeah, ED’s something I know I’ll eventually write about here… at the right time.
rs27: We figured out how to wire the computer through the bigscreen yesterday. Helllooooo, redtube!
Briana: Haha that was my secret plan! But then I realized I’d have 14 kids. MOMMY HAS A HEADACHE.
“Also because I heart you, obviously.”
Obviously, we heart you and your blog, too.
Lilu – you are beautiful! All the way down to your soul. Seriously, you just sparkle! Know thyself – pfft… you are a master!
What you say about meeting B, that’s what I felt when I knew I had the right guy… I had been happily single, and then suddenly, somehow, I was ready to give up ‘me’.. no regrets. We’re celebrating 17yrs soon. Same with kids. We were happy on our own… then, one day, we were ready (and you know, we still do fun stuff, travel, etc). No regrets. And as for weight. After many years of wearing a bikini bod, I now have 2 kids and 4 decades to show.. it ain’t perfect, but I’m working on it, and I vow to not ruin my life by denying myself chocolate or wine. All things in moderation, no?
I sometimes feel dissatisfied too, but I think that is actually a good thing. The alternative is to settle for less than what you actually want. Dream big!
I wholeheartedly agree with how happy you are. I haven’t been this happy since… I discovered goosip mags? Happiness is neither underrated or overrated. It is rated perfectly. Happiness=A warm bowl of bitchin.
I loved the list. And #3 and #7…me too.
Love your honesty! No kiddos for me!! Love your reasons and I agree!
And I like blogging more than most other things too…spend WAY too much time on the computer too!
lacochran: Thanks, darlin. You always make me smile.
Connie: 17 years! Hot damn. I only home to be as lucky as you, pretty lady. And don’t you ever, EVER give up wine and chocolate!
Oxen Cox: Mmmmm… gossip mags… how I love them. They’re my guilty pleasure on airplanes.
inkpuddle: It’s amazing how many of us there are, no? … We are not alone.
Jules: Thanks, lady! I’m definitely a blogdork. New word.
We heart you too babe!
Tomorrow I promise to use my new word: blogdork!
Your honest scrap is a lot more honest than my honest scrap. The baby one has crossed my mind as well.
This is super honest. I need to dig and get honest with myself. I guess I just haven’t been wanting to hear the truth too much lately.
i am totally more afraid of being fat than dying. i never actually thought about it until i read your post, but yeah, wow.
Just when I think I’m screwed for ideas you go and give me one.
I am pretty sure that if left to my own I wouldn’t really share the most honest details about my life, cause I have left out a lot on my blog. but I think I might be stealing this idea from you for a Wednesday or Thursday post!
Thanks a bunch….
Oh and #9 is so true for me… except I’m not an alcoholic… I’m a drunk… the difference is alcoholics have steps. But I have cut WAY back on my drinking… It’s not like I’m in college anymore!
Ruby: Hey girl! Smooches!
Jules: We will unleash our new vocabulary on the world!
Essentially Me: Unfortunately, I set the bar pretty high for myself since my normal posts are kind of an Honest Scrap. I’m sorry for subjecting you all to my verbal diarrhea.
notyourplainjane: Then I’m officially tagging you with the Honest Scrap award, lady. Giterdone!
CAVFC: It’s a crazy realization, isn’t it?
Woolly: Consider yourself officially tagged with the Honest Scrap award, then, darling. Have at it! Glad to help.
Ugh I wrote a whole comment about the babies thing and it got eaten by my computer.
But basically I agree with it–I always wanted them but not for a while and considering I’m still in such a financial hell, I want to have a couple of years being comfortable and traveling before going there.
BUT enjoy your specific age–its a great one. By 27-28, half of my friends were married and by 30, 90%of them are.I am so happy for them…its just so ADULT.
AND NOW, I already have 5 friends with babies but now THREE MORE are pregnant. 3 BEST friends.
It makes it so real after having my 20s all be weddings and now its all babies. Seriously.
Great post babe.
Fantastic post, as always. And your honesty kicks ass!
It makes me super sad that anyone would be more afraid of getting fat than of dying. How can we value our image more than our very lives? Believe me, I understand the impulse. I’ve just spent the last six years trying to switch the order of those two priorities. And I know too many people who took that belief to its inevitable conclusion, which is a damn waste.
On a lighter but twisted note. I’ve always been afraid I’d end up being one of those parents who chucked the kid across the room cause I was having a bad hair day. Thank god for the pill.
Kass: Thanks, darling. It is a really weird place to realize I am… not a bad place, just weird.
emma: Thanks so much, babe. It is really fucked up that we think that way, I know… but we’re working on it.
Comments on this entry are closed.