So, LA Cocharan’s weekend post has inspired me to discuss a topic that’s been on my mind for, well, actually, for years.
Don’t get excited. Put your pants back on, at least. It ain’t that big a deal.
Here’s the thing, though. Everyone, at some point in their life, hears: “Oh my god, has anyone ever told you how much you look like X, Y or Z famous celebrity?!?!?!?!?”
Yeah. The thing about that, though, is that when someone says it, they’re generally referring to some incredibly hot celebrity with 4,000 make-up artists who looks like, you know, a MOVIE STAR every goddamn day. So basically, when someone says, “Oh, you totally look like xxxxx!!!” what I hear is, “You totally look like a way less hot version of xxxxx!”
Which, you know, is probably still some kind of ass backwards compliment. But let’s be honest. It’s still a shot to the left nut, no matter how you look at it.
Here’s a list of the celebs I’ve been told I somehow resemble over the past few years…
A young Kelly Lebrock.
Nope. Trust me, not even a little bit. She is flawless and lovely. I am, um, NOT. Next!
Erica Durance, from Smallville when it first came on…
I mean, holy jeebus, I would do naughty things to this girl. And I LOVE the cawk. She is beautiful. I do not, I repeat, I do NOT, look like this woman.
And finally, I’ve heard this one a million times, and it breaks my heart every time…
Natalie Portman.
Listen, you arseholes. I do not even BEGIN to do Natalie Portman justice. She is breathtaking. She is talented beyond belief. She is GAW-JUS. I am dog poop next to her. Especially after her performance in Léon, aka The Professional, one of my favorite movies of all time.
So, asshats, STOP telling people they “remind” you of someone who is famous for being attractive. It only hurts, you jagoffs, because what you are basically saying is, “Wow, you kinda look like this person, except they’re WAY hotter than you!” ENOUGH, jerkfaces. Enough.
Um. Yeah. Also… Happy Monday! Love yous!
{ 42 comments }
Nat..I mean, LiLu, I tend to like those back-handed compliments (“Charlize Theron? Really? Aw, thank you!”), but I will comply with your wishes. HOWEVER, the next time you compare yourself to dog poop I may just have to beat you. Poo, you are not, my friend.
Lilu – It could be worse. Over the years, I’ve been told that I look like Goldie Hawn and Reba McIntyre. Gee, thanks.
Hmmm…I may have to blog about this. Would be interesting to know who people SAY we look like as opposed to who we THINK we look like.
Have a great day, movie star!
I can kinda see the Kelly Lebrock thing actually. And you are a hot piece.
I get Drew Barrymore ALL THE TIME. I do not look like Drew as you know. I think we both have big eyes and that is why? Who knows.
I hear that I look like a Baldwin…and I always fear that it’s the fat, weird-looking Baldwin – even though I’m not fat.
I used to get Renee Zelweger in her Jerry Maguire days. Now I get Scarlett Johansson, a lot.
I totally know how you feel.
Love this post! You’re hilarious!
I think you’re selling yourself very, very short. In fact, I think it would be a compliment to all three of them to say they look even a little like you.
OK, maybe not Natalie. You’re right, she’s pretty freaking hot. And wasn’t she like 12 when she did, so to speak, The Professional? Great film, just a little “uncomfortable” at times.
I’ve got Lindsay Lohan a few times, which is both unflattering and a little tragic, because in my mind, she constantly looks like a crackhead.
I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, but Natalie Portman always rubs me the wrong way.
You’re way cooler than her!
Speaking of being reminded, these pictures just reminded me that I have to go rub one off.
BRB.
Does this have anything to do with my B/Seth Meyer comparison.
If it means anything, Seth is on my “list of five.” Take it as a compliment, yo.
Sober people tell me I look like Jennifer Jason Leigh, drunkies say I resemble Juliette Lewis. For the record, I don’t see the resemblance to either.
i, too, am always disappointed by flatly inaccurate comparisons.
Will Smith? really? oh. oh you mean that 3-second clip in I, Robot, where you can see his ugly ass stunt double with crap smeared on his face. oh that Will Smith.
Glad my post served a purpose (if only to inspire you to write a better version
)
FWIW, I think you are beautiful but not like any of the women you listed. Rock on, Chickie!
You kinda look like Racetrack from BSG.
I’ve never been compared to “anyone”, guess I’m unique? LOL
You my dear are gorgeous! Inside and out.
ahhhh waaaaaaaaaaaahhh. someone call the whambulance, livitluvit looks like beautiful actresses!!!! ; )
haha.
i get ricki lake – don’t get me started.
PLT: You are too freakin sweet! (Please imagine that Peter Griffin style.)
NothingFancy: Goldie’s used to be a hawtie. (Get it??) And that would definitely be an interesting post!
Lemm: Drew?? MethinksNOT. Although LA Cochran was kinda right about that comedian. But she’s hot, so it’s cool.
I Have Thoughts: I would totally do Aleck, even all fat and drunk and child-abusive and stuff. And yes, it’s totally because of 30 Rock. That voice… “Lemon!”
RubyTuesdays: Thank you, dear, and welcome! Wait’ll you REALLY get to know me… i.e., you read a TMI Thursday.
FoggyDew: Aw, thanks. You are too kind… but Natalie takes my breath away, even at age 11. That film is just so unbelievably wrong, yet beautiful.
Rachel: Aw, I’m sure they meant when she was healthy and hawt.
Maxie: You are wrong. But I love you for it!
Moooog: Need a hanky?
Frecks: He also gets Milo Venti.. whatever. Peter from Heroes.
Shannon: Neither do I. People are strange creatures…
f.B: Ha! See what I mean??? You get me.
LA Cochran: Thanks for the inspiration. I’d forgotten about this rant rattling around in the old noggin. AND thank you for the compliment. I’m trying to get better at taking them.
Malnurtured Snay: Leah Cairns? I’ll take it! http://www.watchingbsg.com/wp-content/uploads/Leah_Cairns_88_Minutes_Racetrack_Battlestar_Galactica.jpg
Fiona: As are you, my West Coast lover.
Alexa: Haha- touche’. And thin Ricki was HOTT.
I think I may have to shut you all up and prove that I do NOT resemble these beautiful ladies… maybe it is time for LiLu to go photo.
Someone told me I looked like Heather Graham once but I think they were on drugs. Like, literally.
Remember the movie Alien? Well, during one of the scenes where Sigourney Weaver is all sweaty and something is oozing out of her, my friend turns to me and tells me I look just like her….Nice….
Jo! How did I miss you in there. So sorry- I’m an ass. But if you’re getting ScarJo, you’re doing well, lady.
But yeah, you see what I mean??
BWP: Eh, Heather Graham is so talentless I can’t even see past it to what she actually looks like.
LMB: Hmm. I think I would have accidentally “spilled” my drink on my “friend”…
I must be quite simple because I never get you look like…
Relish in it and milk it for what you can.
the itouch and the wii are my parttime lovers. Seriously. How did i ever live without?
i think my mother once threatened my door like that too…don’t think she ever had the balls to do it and since dad was mia gambling my college money away? Well…yeah.
ahh fucking crap i think i commented on the wrong post. My bizzle.
But hey! You’re the attainable and approachable version. There’s GOT to be some catch for THAT.
I’ve been told I look like OJ Simpson.
I have great friends.
you are basically saying is, “Wow, you kinda look like this person, except they’re WAY hotter than you!
You know, you are taking it only one way. They may be saying:
“Wow, you kinda look like this person, except YOU are way hotter.”
Also, there is sort of a similarity between the four pictures.
Miss Scorpio: Ever the optimist these days, eh?
Heidi: It’s okay, girl, I got you. And your dizzle.
Kate: Aw! Now THAT is a compliment I will put in my pocket. Thanks darlin!
rs27: OJ wasn’t half bad, in his day… you know, before the whole “killed his wife” thing.
Jerry: All right, that settles it. I think I might have to give y’all photographic evidence tomorrow and let you decide for yourselves…
I do not pay attention to actor and actresses outside of their actual roles so I do not keep their faces in mind to compare people. I usually do not keep their names either. Yea, I suck at trivia. It also means that I am totally clueless when someone tells me that I look like someone famous. “Wow! You look like Jane Doe!”… really? um. Thanks…?
I’m feeling you. While it’s a compliment to be compared to beautiful and talented celebrities, I think we tend to think of all the ways we’re different from them. (I’ve personally been told that I look like Julie Delpy and Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy.)
Hey, at least you’ve been compared to famous women. The only famous people I’ve been told I look like are Gavin Rossdale and Slash from GNR. I think it’s the hair. I HOPE it’s the hair.
Connie: Blissfully ignorant. You ain’t missing much
Zandria: That’s right. I look like ME. Deal with it!
Kate: Of course it’s the hair! And Gavin is hot…
Um, do NOT complain. I get Hillary Clinton: The Headband Years. All. The. Time.
Except now I’m a redhead so they have to come up with something new.
Katertot, this one’s for you: http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g196/saigriever/Burk13.jpg
I’ve been told that I look like a young Paul Simon. I think it’s because we’re both signficantly shorter than Chevy Chase and our similar music abilities. Or the receding hairline thing.
I took it as a compliment the first time someone compared me to Tina Fey — but then I realized that every girl with dorky glasses looks “omg, just like Tina Fey!!!” I guess I’ll just have to stick with the excitement of looking exactly like Lindsay Lohan cuz I have red hair or Madonna cuz I …. look like a man?
Back when we had time for such vain and idle chatter, my friends and I would sit around, usually in a bar, and decide which actors and actresses would play us if they ever made a movie about our fabulous little world. I’d have to pick some new ones to play me now because my previous candidates have all become too old! But I no longer have a movie-worthy life so it doesn’t hardly matter.
You are way hotter than Natalie Portman. She is pretty, but overrated. Kelly Lebrock I can totally see. And that Erica chick, too. I look like no one. Except my Dad. Which is cool, because he has kind of squinty eyes and a mushy jawline. SWEET!
LOVE ya hot GUTS.
Sean: Music abilities. Definitely musical abilities.
FlipFlops: Tina Fey is freaking adorable though. And as established above, red heads are HAWT!!!
Cyndy: Um, can we please meet for martinis and do EXACTLY THAT? Pleeease?
FattyLumpa: You are WAY too kind and generous, my lovely. I got Kelly LeBrock circa Weird Science, which I see a little more. And you, my little puffin, are absolutely, breathtakingly, blue-eyedly beautiful.
You may think you don’t look like these air-brushed *goddesses* but there is a general theme. I never realized how alike they look.
And silver lining – you can eat.
Brilliant idea for a post!
emmajames: Aw, thanks darling! Much appreciated.
Okay, I’m a little creeped out… or maybe you’re creeped out because I keep commenting on your older posts… but, I LOVE “The Professional” I thought I was the only one that enjoyed this movie!! I once forced a roomful (much like a handful) of stoned college boys to watch this movie with me. It was known from there on as “the plant movie” and I was no longer allowed to choose the flicks!!
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