LiLu Goes Pictoral All Over Everyone's Asses

by LiLu on January 13, 2009

in B,BFFies,a reason to drink- like i need one,berfdays,friends,gay (the fabulous kind),thinking too damn hard

I’ve been thinking a lot lately.

(I know. Ouchies. Brain no likey.)

But here’s the thing. When I read through my archives, as some of you have been doing lately,

Hi! How’s it hanging? I seeeee you! Luv, Big Brother

it makes me cringe a little bit. Because if I were you, and I read what I write about me… well, the image I’d have in my head about the girl who talks openly about the consistency of her bowel movements? Is not exactly the most, ahem, flattering visual. And while I am definitely no Kelly LeBrock or Natalie Portman, I also don’t ACTUALLY walk around the district taking dumps on sidewalks.

(Yet. We’ll see how far TMI Thursday goes…)

I think we all, as bloggers, struggle with the issue of anonymity. It’s tough to put yourself out there, and in some cases, down right dangerous. (I am SO sorry, Marissa!) But I also feel like I’ve gotten to the point where, well, goddamnit, I share an awful lot more than enough wayyy too much with you already. I think it’s time you had a face to put with my redonculous, humiliating, out-of-left-field, all too often jawdropping confessionary tales and awesomely bad exploits.

So, yeah, let’s do it. Ready? Okay!

Here’s LiLu have a blast with her gays in L.A.:

Here’s LiLu during her very happy Chapel Thrill days with her enigmatic GBF, Thomas: (And YES, Tar Heels, that is Bub O’Malley’s… on 80s night, duh!)

Here’s LiLu WITH A FREAKING MONKEY OMG HOW GODDAMN HAPPEEE AM I???

Here’s LiLu with her bestie at her BIRFDAY PARTY last Saturday night:

Here’s LiLu, madly in love with the infamous B (at the bar where we met, no less):

Here is my favorite picture of my most favorite person in the whole entire world, from our trip to Costa Rica:

And finally, here is a picture that I truly see myself in. A little bit tipsy at the enormous St. Paddy’s Day bash in Savannah, Georgia… a drink in one hand, and a mischievous glint in my eye. This, my friends, is truly LiLu.

So there you have it, folks. I am, well, halfway out of the closet. THIS is the girl who talks about her cooch freezing over… walking in on her grandparents… and faking a pregnancy to explain her “morning sickness” when it was actually a hangover. And yes, obviously these are some of my favorite pictures, the ones where I look the best, because, well, I’m hoping to provide a little juxtaposition here, so you maybe give me a little more leeway when I tell you stories like how B let me pee with his uh… you know.

I know this post probably comes across as totally self-absorbed- “Here’s LiLu, putting on socks! Here’s LiLu, brushing her hair!”, but the thing is, I’ve shared so much of the bad, so much of the ugly, so much of the FUGLY… I wanted to show y’all the other side, is all. And these aren’t just trivial pictures… I chose them carefully. They represent some of the most important people and memories of my life, and in the spirit of oversharing (which is the unspoken theme of this blog, after all)… I wanted to show them to you.

So, yeah. Um. Hi there.

It’s nice to finally meet you.

{ 54 comments }

1 Lemmonex January 13, 2009 at 1:16 pm: Beautiful girl. I know this was a big step for you…congrats.

And, ps? You and me? We totes look like we are trying to seduce whoever is taking that picture. (Who took that picture? We totally wanted them.)
2 Maxie January 13, 2009 at 1:20 pm: I was a little worried until the last picture because there was no alcohol in sight.
3 LiLu January 13, 2009 at 1:23 pm: Lem: Ha! It was B.

And thank you, lady. You know it wasn’t easy.

Maxie: Oh, don’t worry. I just like being able to send the pics to the parents occasionally.
4 Miss Scorpio January 13, 2009 at 1:38 pm: Well, hello beautiful! You’re much braver than I.
5 I-66 January 13, 2009 at 1:50 pm: Not pictured: monkey poo.
6 Fearless in Toronto January 13, 2009 at 1:51 pm: You and B are just so darn cute, I’m gonna spend the whole time there pinching your collective cheeks. Yeah, you know which ones I’m talking about.
7 16 paws January 13, 2009 at 2:24 pm: Wow, you are crazy brave for doing this. I’m worried about showing my face to the people I might meet this weekend at the ball – IF I can get a hotel that is
8 Liebchen January 13, 2009 at 2:29 pm: I love the pictures! Very cute.

And I would like to point out that even in that last picture, with the drink in hand and glint in your eye, you’re nothing but class, holding that little pinkie off the stem.

Always a lady.

(I know it might be a weird thing to notice, but I get called out for doing the same.)
9 Marissa January 13, 2009 at 2:58 pm: Honestly, being fired (with severance) is probably the best thing to happen to me concerning a job I was going to quit anyway (without severance). So, no big need to be sorry, but thanks anyway!

Also, gorgeous, allow me to reveal my favorite thing about the above photos — the fact that your hand is literally over your heart in the pic with the monkey on your head. So effing endearing!

Welcome to the world of blogging through the usage of carefully chosen pics of yourself. It’s the only way to blog, or bog rather, in my opinion.
10 moooooog35 January 13, 2009 at 3:00 pm: Hold on…

I’m working on:

“Heres LiLu with Moooooog doing 3-way bum stuff with said monkey.”

PhotoShop rules.
11 LiLu January 13, 2009 at 3:06 pm: Miss Scorpio: Aw, thanks, lady. I have a feeling a LOT more people would like to see what you look like, seeing as you write about sex, and not farts…

66: True story. Moog’s working on it.

Fearless: Thanks, lady. And know you’ll actually know who to look for next week!

16 Paws: If by “crazy brave” you meant “crazy”… then YES. Yes I am. I really hope to see you this weekend!

Liebchen: Thanks, sweetheart. And yeah, I do that. It’s genetic, I think… can’t, and shouldn’t, be helped.

Marissa: I so would have brought that little guy home with me if there was ANY way. Even if he poo’d in my hair, I probably would have “awwww”‘d.

Moooog: 3-way bum stuff?? That is high tech, my friend.
12 Zipcode January 13, 2009 at 3:24 pm: You are gorgeous – drop dead beautiful! You and your man make a cute couple as well.

Love the monkey picture – cause I love monkeys…………….

still not posting my pic on my blog – it was would scare the masses. I might post Satans though
13 Woolly January 13, 2009 at 3:33 pm: it’s nice to finally meet you too!
14 Jerry Critter January 13, 2009 at 3:42 pm: Ha! I knew it. I was right! (See yesterday’s comment.)
15 f.B January 13, 2009 at 3:49 pm: putting out real face = so hard. but you had to do it. there’s a monkey on your shoulder. how could you not share?
16 LiLu January 13, 2009 at 4:00 pm: Zip: Aw, thanks, darling. And who DOESN’T love monkeys?? They are the epitome of lovable.

Woolly: *firm handshake and smile*

Jerry: Aw, thank you, dear. You are way too kind. But I’ll TAKE it.

f.B: I know, right? It would have been CRUEL to keep that little guy from the innerwebs.
17 FoggyDew January 13, 2009 at 4:10 pm: Great pics LiLu. It’s always nice to be able to put a face with the words…oh, wait a minute…
18 Laura January 13, 2009 at 4:12 pm: Oh! Um, hi. That was me archive-stalking you. I couldn’t help it; I read a TMI Thursday post and had to keep reading for more awesome badness.

Also I don’t have anything better to do at work.

Love the pictures!
19 Georgia January 13, 2009 at 4:18 pm: Oooh you’re so cute! And you look like someone I would have gone to camp with and been BFFs with and snuck out of the cabin to make out with older boys with. Specific, I know, but that’s just the vibe I get.
20 prettylittletangents January 13, 2009 at 4:18 pm: You are just as cute a freakin’ button! You and B! Here’s a virtual pinch to your cheeks Thanks for sharing, GAL (that’s Gorgeous Ass Lady, in case you didn’t know).
21 Deutlich January 13, 2009 at 4:21 pm: I totally didn’t realize you were a fellow DC’er!
22 Lisa January 13, 2009 at 5:57 pm: Hi pretty girl! I love this! And Bub O’Malleys, I do not remember. This is either selective amnesia or it wasn’t there when I was.
23 Kate January 13, 2009 at 6:02 pm: Hey foxy lady! Way to go. It’s like coming out of the closet, no?
24 LiLu January 13, 2009 at 6:03 pm: Laura: HI! Also, I love you. Trust me, it’s a HUGE compliment. Drop me an email sometime if you like

Georgia: Oh, TOTALLY. And it wouldn’t just be the older boys… it’d be the counselors. I am right there with you, chica.

PLT: Thank you, thank you. You are so sweet and wonderful and you make my heart warm! And I’m totally going to be using GAL from now on

Deutlich: Why YES, yes I am. HH?

Lisa: Aw, thanks, lady. YOU are the pretty- nay, the GAWJUS one! Bub’s was fairly new, I think. I have fantastic pics of Tommy and I from Linda’s, He’s Not, La Rez, Lucy’s, you name it…
25 LiLu January 13, 2009 at 6:05 pm: Kate: Exactly! Well, with less ass-stuff. Unless moog comes through…
26 Woolly January 13, 2009 at 6:57 pm: OH and I forgot to mention….. has anyone ever told you, you look like Natalie Portman????

LOL

sorry couldn’t resist
27 brookem January 13, 2009 at 6:59 pm: woo! de-anonymousizing your bad self! you and all your hotness.
good on you lady!
28 Miles To Go Before I Sleep...... January 13, 2009 at 7:03 pm: Welcome to Bloggerland with pics!!!

And I do the same here… carefully hosen pics of “good” me with good memories

(*ahem* Here’s how I roll… I will always try my best to NEVER post a pic of the laughing-double-chin, the spare tire, muffin top, morning hair, etc. etc. Unless I’ve had too much to drink that is….)
29 Downbeat January 13, 2009 at 7:03 pm: No no no, LiLu, it’s nice to meet you. I hope the plunge wasn’t too traumatic.
30 rs27 January 13, 2009 at 7:34 pm: I thought we were promised nudie pics?

We weren’t?

I guess this will do.
31 KassyK January 13, 2009 at 8:11 pm: Yay there she is! As someone who has been open with photos from Day 1 (I had no idea back then anyone READ blogs)…you did the best thing ever and what I do now.

CAREFULLY CHOSEN PHOTOS.

I love them. Love you and B (who really is Chef’s semi-Petrelli clone) and love your coming out party.

Beautiful lady!
32 Katherine January 13, 2009 at 8:20 pm: Does this mean I can put you in my Drunkie Photo Montage from the Bloggerational Ball? Huh? Huh? Does it?
33 LiLu January 13, 2009 at 8:31 pm: Woolly: Touche’. If only you MEANT it.

Brookem: Thanks, babe! It was time.

Miles to Go: Thank ya sugar. It’s all about the memories… definitely not about hiding the double chins… not at all. ;-0

Downbeat: It’s been pretty schweet, actually. You all are wonderful.

rs27: What are you offering?

Kass: You’re definitely not the only one who’s noticed B’s resemblance.

Ours are hotter though

Katherine: Uh, doi. Unless there’s a nip slip… Then it’s gonna cost you.
34 Venomiss008 January 13, 2009 at 8:42 pm: You are adorable! I understand now after blogging for a little bit just how much courage it takes to post pictures.

I started posting pictures the first few months but then took them down for fear of someone I knew finding me out.

Now I’m thinkin it’s not so bad…and how cute are you and B! *LOVE*
35 fattylumpa January 13, 2009 at 11:44 pm: Just one more medium in which to obtain my daily LiLu BooBoo fix. THANK YOU BABY JEEBUS.

You are gorgeous as always, dear heart. Love yiz guts.
36 flipflops January 14, 2009 at 12:10 am: Hey Big Brother, once I move back to my regular 9-6 shift, I’ll stop stalking your archives (did that sound dirty to anyone else?). And you’re probably the cutest drunk person ever — other than the drink in hand, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you were tipsy.
37 Jack January 14, 2009 at 12:19 am: Shit, you are frigging hot. On and off Facebook…

But hey, congrats on coming out of the blogging closet. You are a stronger person that I.

J

http://adventuresinvoluntarysimplicity.blogspot.com/
38 Arjewtino January 14, 2009 at 12:46 am: I like how the last picture makes it look like you have a broken cartoon thought bubble.
39 LiLu January 14, 2009 at 1:38 am: Venomiss008: Oh, thanks sweet! It was scary, I’ll admit, but I’m glad I did. It does help that my bf is unbearably adorable…

FattyLumpa: Thank you dear. You are there for me, as always.

FlipFlops: And welcome to them, just please don’t judge based on the early ones… I think it takes a while for any blogger’s real voice to come out. Also, I have a talent for hiding when I’m REALLY drunk. It actually gets me into trouble more often than not…

Jack: I’m blushing, I swear. Thank you darling. And with your (extremely honorable) agenda? I’d probably stay anon as well.

Arjewtino: What would it say, my dear?
40 Little Miss Obsessive January 14, 2009 at 2:35 am: Yay for deanonymizing ourselves.. I just posted pics of me for the first time last night also!
You & B are so cute

P.S. Your blog has become one of my very faves!
41 flipflops January 14, 2009 at 3:29 am: I’m a hider-when-i’m-drunk, toooooo. Totally understand the trouble that comes from it.
42 alexa - cleveland's a plum January 14, 2009 at 4:02 am: and you are now out of the anonymity closet! don’t know why you were hiding anyways : )

AND you and B are hot to trot.

ps did you see billy joel and elton john are going on tour?!??! im going to see them in cleveland in May! woo!
43 Snow White January 14, 2009 at 5:36 am: Ahh!! You’re soo bold! Congrats. I could never do it… seriously, I’d lose my job. Bah! Responsibility!
44 Connie January 14, 2009 at 8:28 am: Wonderful pics – you look as beautiful and as positive as you write … and keep the glint in your eye, it goes so well with everything
45 LiLu January 14, 2009 at 12:19 pm: LMO: I follow your dramz like it’s GG, honestly. I LOVE it. And you? Are TOO FREAKING ADORABLE. Seriously! Here’s to coming out of the closet!

Alexa: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. you know, I’ve never been to Cleveland…

Snow White: Welcome, chica! And yeah, that does concern me a little bit. But livin life on the edge right! Whooo hooo…

Connie: Thanks, you lovely, lovely lady! I hope that glint never goes away too…
46 Smart Mouth Broad January 15, 2009 at 3:44 am: I love having a face to put with the stories. You’re such a cutie! Great pictures.
47 LBluca77 January 15, 2009 at 5:10 am: Oh look at how adorable you are!

Great pictures. You and B are very hubba hubba.
48 LiLu January 15, 2009 at 5:45 pm: SMB: Thank you, that’s exactly what I wanted to accomplish.

LBluca77: Thanks, sweetheart! We try… actually, it just comes naturally. Or so you think.
49 Uncle Ebenezer January 15, 2009 at 5:51 pm: You look like a cross between a young Kelly LeBroc and Natalie Portman. Which means you’re almost as hot as I am.
50 LiLu January 15, 2009 at 5:57 pm: Uncle Eb: I must be the only person who doesn’t see it. Maybe it’s like how no one can hear how their own voice really sounds?
51 Kate January 15, 2009 at 10:18 pm: Wow, LiLu is wicked cute! I especially like that pic of you and B–you can see the love there!
52 zandria January 16, 2009 at 4:59 pm: I love pictures! YAY for no longer being fully anonymous. (And it’s also better when you can recognize someone in advance when you might possibly meet them in person!)
53 Little Ms Blogger January 17, 2009 at 11:16 am: LiLu – thanks for sharing.

I will one day…when employers don’t do computer background checks and discover my ramblings about meat slicers, wanting to pee in public and etc….I think at the moment, I need to be behind the scenes. I don’t need any excuse NOT to be hired.

However, I love the fact that you shared a pic of who you are…..
54 LiLu January 17, 2009 at 3:43 pm: Kate: Aw, thanks! We are two dorky schmoops, that’s for sure.

Zandria: Definitely! We’re way overdue for drinks. You coming on Sunday??

LMB: Thanks so much. It was a tough decision, but I feel good about it. Until my ass gets fired, that is…