Blankets are OK But They Can Slip and Slide, Plus Your Hands are Trapped Inside!

by Rachael on January 5, 2009

FacebookPinterestLinkedInEmailShare/Bookmark

I already know what I’m getting for Valentine’s Day this year.

Let me explain. B and I have been sort of reclusive lately. A thoughtful analysis suggests that the reason for that is that winter, real winter, is upon us. The weather outside is frightful, and the fire is so delightful… well, okay, we don’t have a fire, but we do have a sparkly Christmas tree and a ginormous flatscreen television. It doesn’t help at all that he got me a Wii for Christmas. (Love, love love Wii boxing. I’ve beat him 3 times so far. My fool-proof strategy? Push EVERY SINGLE BUTTON ALL THE TIME AS FAST AS YOU CAN.)

Too often we have had an evening full of invitations and possibilities… and we have passed it up. Yes, it is “cold” and “dreary” outside. Yes, we are “heart-wrenchingly poor”. Yes, we “love each other” and “like spending time alone where we can fart out loud, I mean snuggle in peace”.

But it’s more than that, my friends. We have come to realize that we have an enemy, an archnemesis, nay, a formidable force that prevents us from getting off the couch and heading out on for adventure, no matter the good friends and copious amounts of booze that tempt us.

The enemy is the enormous, soft and cuddly, no longer pristine and therefore willing to be spilled on, COMFORTER that resides on our living room couch. The second we get home, it’s clothes off and pajamas on, we curl up under the softest blanket in the world… and it is Game Over. Who’s getting up from that?? NO ONE, I tell you, NO ONE. It’s just too damn good. We immediately transform into snugglicious blobs of mush.

It feels kinda like this:

Although it probably LOOKS more like that:

And, as much as I hate being anti-social, it is WONDERFUL. There is truly nothing better than spending hours upon hours on our couch together, me with a glass of wine and internets in my lap, nestled into the nook that is him, while we settle in with some Always Sunny and bask in glow or warmth and love and coziness.

Then yesterday, we came across the most aMAZing infomercial. The answer to all our “How Can We Make Snuggling BETTER?” prayers.

I give you… the Snuggie.

Game over, folks. We are on this like white on rice.

See you next May!

{ 37 comments }

1 Lemmonex January 6, 2009 at 7:04 pm

You need to get rid of that damn tree. It is gonna start a fire.

2 brookem January 6, 2009 at 7:11 pm

ive seen and almost ordered this little snuggie. it’s so tempting. so not sexy, but who even gives a shit when you’re warm and cozy and wine-d up?

3 Herb of DC January 6, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Actually I am planning on wearing a Snuggie (in Obama Royal Blue) to my Inaugural Balls. No standing in line at the coat checks and plenty of room to smuggle out the good liquor.

4 KassyK January 6, 2009 at 7:16 pm

AHHHHHHHHH the snuggie. Chloe is the fluffy snuggle bunny I have, but man, that blanket thingy scares me.

Like when they ALL ARE WEARING THEM together? They look like a set of drunken monks.

5 Malnurtured Snay January 6, 2009 at 7:18 pm

Yeah, Lemmonex stole my comment.

6 Maxie January 6, 2009 at 7:19 pm

I begged my mom to get me one for Christmas and she said NO. meanie.

7 Fearless in Toronto January 6, 2009 at 7:27 pm

I howled when I saw this commercial a few days ago.

And then I thought “why don’t they make one with TWO sets of armholes?”

8 LiLu January 6, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Lemm: “And I leave my Christmas lights on the front porch all year long, and I know every word to every Charlie Daniels song! Cause I’m a REDNECK WOMAN…”

Brookem: Zackly! This is so happening.

Herb: We can sew inside pockets!

Kass: I’ll be your drunken monk, baby.

Malnurtured Snay: Don’t hate on my crispy, crispy xmas tree!

Maxie: So you get HER one for her birthday!

Fearless: No joke, B had the idea for the Double Snuggie! (Separation anxiety much?) I, however, had the idea for a HOOD. Hells yeah!

9 Julie January 6, 2009 at 7:38 pm

The Fireman and I have been making fun of this infomercial every time it’s on for weeks now.

“Oh my god! They invented something you can still use your hands in? How have we been living with just blankets for the past million years!!!”

Lilu.. I heart you.. please don’t get this.

10 I-66 January 6, 2009 at 7:39 pm

Please don’t.

11 Little Ms Blogger January 6, 2009 at 8:11 pm

OMG – I just saw this ad for the first time and thought the person who created this is a GENIUS!!!

You have to get and report back if it is truly as great as it appears to be.

j

12 Belle January 6, 2009 at 8:23 pm

You are on a slippery slope LiLu. Next thing you know, you’ll be investing in a set of “ShamWows” to buff your wine glass and a “Big City Slider” to make tasty treats.

You guys will never leave.

Back away…slowly….from the snuggie.

I’m only looking out for your social life and preventing a knock from the fashion police.

13 rs27 January 6, 2009 at 8:51 pm

This is never a problem in LA.

14 Lisa January 6, 2009 at 8:53 pm

The Snuggie! Hilarious! The men look like druids! And both of you can probably fit in the same one! Happy snuggling, sweet pea.

15 Kate January 6, 2009 at 8:54 pm

It’s always my hands that are freezing in my basement abode. So snuggly mitten/gloves would have to be included, or I’m not getting one.

16 LiLu January 6, 2009 at 9:21 pm

Julie: Hmmm… sounds like the jury’s out… some yes, some no, what are we to do?

66: But the SNUGGLINESS of it all! I don’t think you get how snuggly it is!

LMB: It’s like a big, fleece smock. WHO DOESN’T WANT A SMOCK?!

Belle: This is the part of the conversation where I do not mention I’ve been begging B to get me the Big City Slider since the SECOND I laid eyes on it.

Speaking of Fashion Police, Ruby, what’s the verdict?

rs27: Sure, but what about FINDING SNUGGLES?? I bet that’s a problem.

Lisa: You better believe they make a twosie. If they don’t, I’m commissioning one.

Kate: Easy fix: Add mittens on a string! PERFECTION!

17 FoggyDew January 6, 2009 at 10:07 pm

My question is this: How are you suppose to “adjust” stuff when your hands are outside of the blanky? AhhhHa. They didn’t think of that, did they?

18 Smart Mouth Broad January 6, 2009 at 11:02 pm

that is so cute! Makes me want to go home and snuggle up on my couch with my dogs and MHS!

19 fiona January 6, 2009 at 11:38 pm

What about feet?
The snuggie needs feet!

20 Madame Meow January 6, 2009 at 11:49 pm

I love you for this– is it insane how many times a day the Snuggle gets advertised, though?

(I’m still jonesing for a ShamWow, incidentally)

21 Essentially Me January 7, 2009 at 12:43 am

That family look like they are apart of some cult like red version of the KKK … it’s a good thing those snuggies are red and not white.

22 f.B January 7, 2009 at 12:52 am

“Push every single button…”

that was my strategy too! and it worked. like. a. charm. until the next day. when i realized i am officially a lazy bastard who was sore from Wii boxing

23 alexa - cleveland's a plum January 7, 2009 at 12:59 am

this is only acceptable if you take a picture of yourself dancing around in it

24 Miss Scorpio January 7, 2009 at 1:42 am

First things first, you need to get rid of the tree. We can’t have you lying on the couch all comfy in a snuggie when you have a fire hazzard just across the room.

25 Playful Professional January 7, 2009 at 2:13 am

I really really want one of these!!

26 Heidi January 7, 2009 at 2:57 am

effing crap! Jealous!!! WANT!!!!!

Fiance won’t buy me one because he says i could on my bathrobe backwards and it would be the same thing and since i already have a bathrobe…it doesn’t cost him anything.

Lucky :(

27 LBluca77 January 7, 2009 at 5:11 am

Ignore RS it is cold in southern cali. Trust me. I have been coming home and putting on my pajamas every night after work.

I so want a snuggie.

It is almost TMI Thursday, I got one all ready.

28 Connie January 7, 2009 at 11:53 am

I feel warm and fuzzy just reading this! I admit that I think the solid colors make the wearers look like members of a suburbanized pagan cult, but thank goodness they didn’t choose materials with cutsie prints. I always vote for cuddly things – except when they are made too cute – like that Snuggle fabric softener bear… blech!

29 fattylumpa January 7, 2009 at 12:23 pm

This is not the first time I have seen or heard of this….nor the first time I have seriously contemplated buying it. But what if the IDEA is great and the blanket material is, like, polyester?? This is what I fear. DAMN YOU QVC!

30 Woolly January 7, 2009 at 12:27 pm

I saw this on TV and I laughed… I just want to say that at one point in the commercial there is an old guy wearing a red one and to be honest it looked kinda like he was the grand wizard at a Klan meeting… as comfortable as they look I can’t get that image out of my head and therefore I could never own one!

31 Malnurtured Snay January 7, 2009 at 4:27 pm

I’m not hating on your crispy ready to burn down your apartment Christmas tree, I’m hating on Lemmonex for stealing my comment. Sheesh, pay attention!

32 Baking With Plath January 7, 2009 at 6:31 pm

I totally bought this for my dad for Christmas and my boyfriend had to pry it from my hands in order to put it in a gift bag. I seriously wanted to keep that motherfucker.

33 LiLu January 8, 2009 at 6:13 pm

Foggy: I believe the hands can be retracted if desired, but not without receiving odd-looking stares.

Smart Mouth Broad: Right? I know I am not alone in wanting one of these.

Fiona: You have a bold point, my friend. Now we must go to Kate of SD and find out where she gets her awesome Super Warm and Fun Socks!

Madame Meow: No kidding! And I would rock the HELL out of a ShamWOW!

Essentially Me: A very, very good thing. Maybe it’s like those Spanish religious robes instead of the KKK. Yeah, we’ll go with that.

f.B: Wii boxing is a serious workout!

Alexa: You know what? If he gets me one, I promise to do so. Hear that, B?

Miss Scorpio: Shhh. Leave my Charlie Brown tree out of this. He will stay until he no longer smells like all the joys of Christmas.

Play Professional: Welcome! And thank you for validating me!

Heidi: SEE?!? All you haters are so, so wrong.

Lbluca77: Your TMI Thursday is stellar, as always.

Connie: Cuddly is the best, and I’ll take pagan any day, as long as I don’t look all KKK-y.

FattyLumpa: Uh oh, I know what someone’s getting for her bridal shower! Bee tee dubs, they’re FLEECE. Yums.

Woolly: If by “laughed” you mean “had to have the phone wrenched out of my hand by a significant other,” then we are totally on the same page.

Malnurtured Snay: All right, all right. As long as you’re hating on Lem and not Charlie.

BWP: You should have. I can’t ever buy it for anyone because there is NO CHANCE IN HELL I would ever give it away.

34 Marissa January 8, 2009 at 7:08 pm

DO NOT BUY A SNUGGIE!

1) It has a ridiculous name.

2) This just in from my mom: “Oh, and don’t expect a Snuggie. It’s a scam.. I’ll tell you more about it when we talk.”

I have no idea what she’s talking about, but this sounds like the story of the century! I’ll keep you updated.

35 KBo January 8, 2009 at 10:43 pm

Oh.My.God.

When did you turn 85 and CRAZY? Matt and I (and my entire family) have been making fun of these crazy ass backward robes all holiday season. At Christmas, during a conversation discussing one of my Nana’s ordered-from-TV contraptions, I said to my aunt, “Oh my god, have you seen those crazy snuggie wearing people on that infomercial??”

My Nana then burst into the conversation proclaiming, “Oh! That is another present that I ordered that hasn’t come in yet!! I tried to order two but when I hit order, it had charged me for 12. I hope they get here soon cause you’re all getting one!”

We all busted out laughing and crinkled our brows with the, wow she is old and senile look plus the I-cannot-believe-I-know-someone-who-ordered-that look.

Priceless my friend. If I see you in that thing I will be forced to poke fun.

“You can even hold your baby, and snuggle with your pet! And stay warm at sporting events! Yeaaaa!”

36 LiLu January 9, 2009 at 12:20 am

Marissa: I am anxiously awaiting the story of the Snuggie scam!

Kbo: Then can B and I have yours and M’s???

37 Anonymous February 6, 2009 at 4:11 am

This stupid “blanket” looks just like the costume to a KKK member! That’s America for you!!!!!!! They have to keep rubbing slavery into someone’s face! Freedom of speech my a**!!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: