Because Clearly, You Don't Know Enough About Me… (?!?)

***Side note: If anyone knows WTF is going on with my links and their colors, please let me know… I’ve tried to reformat the fonts/colors a million times and they still look purple and royal blue and WEIRD and it is making me sad in my pants. Help much appreciated. The pay is my undying gratitude, and a month old Snickers I just found in my desk.***

Actually, I’m sure you already know more about me than you ever, ever wanted to know… so why mess with a good thing? The lovely, lovely Lisa over at Lemon Gloria was kind enough to pretend she did, and asked me a few little Q’s after being interviewed herself last week.

Rules are below if you want to play! Happy Friday.

1. You seem to be completely confident in who you are and in everything you do all the time – even in your embarrassed moments. Are there any types of situations that make you nervous? Do you ever get shy?

Believe it or not, I was not always the outgoing, confident LiLu you now see before you. Working in restaurants, especially bartending, had a LOT to do with making me who/how I am now. When you’ve seen it, err, DONE it all, it takes a LOT to shock you. And constantly performing on a stage (bar) means you have to just Toughen Up. You can’t let the little things get to you, you can’t ever show embarrassment or they’ll eat you alive. Most importantly, you have to LAUGH at yourself when you eff up. So I did, and do. (Hence, TMI Thursday was born…)

That said, YES, of course I get nervous sometimes. If I’m in a room where I don’t know anyone, I sometimes become overwhelmed. I need an anchor, a starting point to get me going, and then I’m fine. But sometimes I get unbelievably quiet… although it’s more likely to be that I’m pissed off than nervous… Rowr.

2. Do you have one absolute favorite thing about B?

Gah. You asked me this because Lemmonex asked YOU, and you realized how hard it was. But I think I can answer it… It’s the way he balances me so completely. The way he is just as strong and manly, or as sweet and loving, as I need, all at once. The way we switch back and forth taking care of each other, based on whoever needs it more at that moment. The way that I knew instantly I could depend on him, the way he’s proved he will NEVER give up on me, no matter how hard I push him away.

We are not perfect. But we are perfect for each other. And THAT is my favorite thing about him (us).

Also, the fact that we can sit on the couch for hours watching crappy TV in our grody-est sweatpants while drooling beer on ourselves (or each other if it gets kinky)… and it’s the most fun I’ve had all week. We’ve already planned our first Weekend on the Couch ot 9, set to begin TODAY, and I’m stoked. I really should get a video camera and start our own reality show. Except we’re the only ones who’d watch it, and even we’d have to be drunk.

3. If you could be someone else for a week, would you do it? And if so, who would you be and what would you do?

I’d definitely do it, because then I could write a kickass book about the experience, which would then clearly be turned into a movie on Lifetime. But WHO? That is the question. I’d like to say John Hamm’s wife, but B is watching, so let’s pretend that didn’t happen.

I guess I would go with Brad Pitt. A) Because I’d love to see what it’s like to be super, super famous in a culture that worships celebrities. B) Because I’d love to see what it’s like to be a man- especially an extremely hot one- and have a schlong and all that. For scientific purposes, of course. Also then I could masturbate and say that I had sex with Brad Pitt. Even though he’s no John Hamm. And C) because although I’m not an Angie fan, it would be very interesting to see what she’s like in real life. And I would get tons of dirt on them and then sell my knowledge to the tabloids once I was back in my own body and be a millionaire! God, I’m a genius.

4. I know you absolutely love all cuddly animals, but if forced to choose, would you describe yourself as a cat person or a dog person? Why?

Hmm. I really love both, but honestly, I have to go cat on this one. (I know, I know, stop throwing things.) I guess because I grew up with them, and if you get a good one, they are truly amazing (fluffy!) pets… that never need to be walked at 6am in the snow and have their steaming poop picked up with a plastic bag. Unfortunately, since B has this weird affinity for breathing (wtf?) and claims to have something called an “allergy”, it is not to be. Dogs are fantabulous animals and actually, we desperately want to get one… but honestly, it’s one step below having a child, and it wouldn’t be fair to the pup. This does not mean that we don’t torture ourselves looking at pictures of all the puppies at the local shelters who need homes… because we do, about once a week. I think when we’re ready, we just won’t be able to resist one of those skweeshable little faces anymore.

So, the perfect answer: a cat who acts like a dog. They’re rare but amazing.

5. If you had to choose a flavor of ice cream that most fits your personality, what kind do you think you would be? And why? Feel free to make one up if necessary.

Let’s see. We’ll start with coffee ice cream, because coffee seems so nice and normal and pleasant. Which is like me… until I open my mouth. And then you realize that I’m full of surprises; quirky ones, so we’ll throw in some chocolate covered almonds that are all oh! That’s unexpected… but then you realize that the almonds are kind of endearing, even if they are nutty. And right when you think you’ve got me figured out and all that THERE IS A REESE’S CUP AT THE BOTTOM OMFG. And you realize maybe you actually like this hot mess, it’s growing on you and who doesn’t like Reese’s???

Thanks Lisa! And if anyone else wants to play…

If you’d like to play along, just follow these instructions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me,” with your email address.

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. Be sure you link back to the original post.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Have a great weekend, chickadees!