I was getting ready for my 2 mile walk home from the new job on Monday evening, and it had been a TERRIBLE day. Not anything to do with the job itself, which is going splendidly, thanks for asking (yes, despite the toner incident)- more a mishmash of health problems and the ensuing feelings of distress/anxiety/wanting to cry in my Cheerios- that go along with them. At an emergency doctor appointment in the afternoon (so much for a lunch break) I found out that I need oral surgery next week and pretty much can’t eat anything tougher than soup until then, unless it’s cut into itty bitty bites. Le funsies.
So yeah, I’d already had a rough day, topped off with the usual stressification of starting a new job and, yanno, having basically no idea how to do it yet. AND trying to do it while my mouth was throbbing. (I-66? Take it away.)
So when it was finally quittin’ time, I picked up a prescription at the CVS across the street… and walked out past the candy aisle. Now, I’m not a huge sweets person- give me french fries over a Snickers any day- but I do love me some gummies. So I grabbed a 99 cent bag of gummy bears to get me through the absolutely FREEZING half-hour walk home I had in front of me. I figured I’d earned it.
As I braved the cold streets of the District, picking little handfuls of bears out of my pocket and savoring them along the way, I stumbled onto an entrance to Farragut North.
“Hmm,” I thought. “I suppose I could take the metro to Chinatown and transfer there… it’d be annoying, but at least it’d be warmer.” Then I remembered the BAG OF GUMMY BEARS in my pocket. “Oh crap. I can’t justify eating some of half of an entire bag of gummy bears if I metro home instead of walking. I suppose I could throw the 85 cents of gummies left away… (hahaha, I can’t even pretend to take that seriously!)”
So I bundled up a little tighter and trudged past the Metro stop, determined to work off at least a few of the candies on the way home.
As EVERYONE knows, Red is clearly the best flavor of every “fruity” candy known to man. (Skittles, Twizzlers, Runts, I’m looking at you.) I was bored enough to twitter this (and also how I bit my cheek immediately thereafter). I neglected, however, to say anything about Orange being my nearly unconditional second fave. Apparently, Orange is a bit of an attention whore, because she got majorly pissed off and I made it through half the bag without finding a single Orange. Which is totally not cool because everyone knows that the Superiority of Red is made all the sweeter by the presence of the sporadic Lesser But Still Pretty Good Orange.
While contemplating this existential crisis en route to my apartment, I realized that: a) walking is really boring when your cell phone’s dead and you forget your iPod, B) I might be a little crazy, and C) you really can blog about anything, huh?
Happy Humpday, lovahs. Don’t forget tomorrow is TMI Thursday!
{ 30 comments }
I counter your walking revelations with the following:
a) walking may be boring without an iPod (you know I am a luddite without such things) but that’s why you buy the occasional lottery ticket to give yourself the walking day dream
b) for gummies, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Red may be the best solo, but red and orange in the mouth together is Nirvana
Your mouth shouldn't be throbbing, dear… but what's inside it should be.
And I hate to break it to you, but…
orange > red.
Don't hurt me.
Go, you(!) for walking home because you’d chosen to eat a bag of gummy bears.
(And yes, red is absolutely the best flavor.)
Better hope Foilwoman doesn’t read this post. You might end up on the front page of DCblogs under the heading of “LiLu talks about walking home, eating Gummies and biting her cheek.”
I, on the other hand, enjoyed the discussion, but have to counter everyone with one word: green.
Red is definitely the best (in Starbursts, though, I like pink, too). Whenever I eat gummy bears I get the theme song from the cartoon in my head. Is that just me?
Yeah? Ok…
Ahhh, my partner in sickly crime…one day we will combine forces and make…one complete, healthy force to be reckoned with…[insert evil laugh here]…
Does anyone like the clear gummies? Why do they make clear gummies?
I like the oranges better actually… I hate yellow. yucky.
yet another orange fan here. but you know what’s even better? dual lobotomies: biting the heads off of a red and an orange simultaneously
Orange is definitely my favorite. Red just makes me hyperactive.
Refugee: Your lottery tickets are my gummy bears. At least yousr don’t go straight to your ass…
66: You’re welcome for the set up. It was REDIC. Deal with that.
Zandria: Duh!
Foggy: At least that would be an accurate representation for once. And green surprised me this time around; they’re better when they’re almost frozen.
Liebchen: Pink Starbursts could rule the world with the power they wield.
Fearless: I think the clear are pineapple. I don’t mind one or two, but then they get boring.
Maxie: Yellow offends my delicate nature.
f.B: You are so right about that! The medley of evil flavor is DEELISHUS.
Doug: As opposed to…
I’m calling PETA on ya!
Ooops no point. You ate the evidence.
I am a big fan of the white/very light yellow colors (I am thinking of lifesavers…) I like to be difficult.
I’m with Lemmonex. Yellow is one of my faves.
Let me know if you need any post-surgical caring for. I’m very maternal.
OMG – Loved your revelation at the end about how boring walking can be without a charged cell and iPod and the fact you can blog about it.
That revelation was very funny to me.
Oh please, the green ones are the best gummies. Those little clear ones and the red ones are tied for second. Unless we’re talking Starburst; then pink is the champion of awesome.
If you had a book, you could’ve taken the Metro and read!
And, speaking of: red. I forget if we’re talking candy or Metro lines, but red is clearly the winner.
Fiona: PETA is a terrorist organization. I’ll go head to head with them.
Lemmonex: I like us difficult. That way, there’s something to fix.
Frecks: You can come over and cut my food up into 50 bites, if you’re up for it…
LMB: I’m glad to know I’m not alone!
Uncle Eb: Green? Oh, Jewish male doppelganger, you so crazeee.
Paul: Red rules the metro AND candy, it’s true! It’s building quite the empire.
Ohhh! Feel better! If you want, I can lovingly spoon soup into your mouth.
For me
Red+Orange = Sweet+Salty
I have no idea why I’m feeling so mathematical today. So I guess you’ll be drinking a lot of hot cocoa for at least the next week. That’s not all bad. Hope your mouth feels better soon!
YEs Red is king. It needed to be said. Red Red Wine, Red Rum, Red Riding Hood, Bloods,
Ok maybe that was too much.
My son is a gummy freak too. Of course, he’s 2.
I hate to sound like an old man but it’s sometimes good to nix the electronics and reset your brain during a walk.
That is the most conservative thing I’ll say all week. I must cleanse myself in a marijuana ritual.
I agree that red is the best flavor (including Kool-Aid, hee) except for Skittles, when it is tied with purple. I also confess to hating all things orange except for oranges themselves.
With Jelly Bellies, the reds take different forms. You think you’re getting a Cherry and you wind up with Raspberry or Urchin Blood or one of their other million flavors.
Katherine: I’ve had so much soup this week, I think I’ve turned into a Saltine.
Cyndy: You are onto something with the hot cocoa. (I.e. Kahlua.)
rs27: Uh oh… I’m totally a Crypt.
NothingFancy: What are you trying to say??
M@: No, you’re absolutely right. It’s definitely nice every once in a while. Now pass the J, man.
Kate: I’ll hand it to you on the purple Skittles, although I get really sick of them after too many. I guess that’s the point when I should stop eating so many freaking Skittles, huh?
LA Cochran: Jelly Bellies always trick me! Pear’s my favorite, but I always get duped and end up with a Sour Apple, or Booger.
wait – you walk TWO MILES to work. damn girl
Purple is also a good flavor candy. I love grape anything.
Can’t wait for TMI Thursday tomorrow.
I hate red candies, except gummy bears. But still, you can always have mine. I hope tomorrow is a better one. Hugs to you.
Orange and red are in a heated race for the crown. I think that, in the end, red pulls out ahead. But when the white/pineapple ones are involved, all bets are off.
Alexa: I do, I know it seems like a lot but it’s good exercise… and the half-hour is always full of very interesting people watching!
LBluca77: TMI: keeping life interesting since October 08.
Lisa: Hugs right back atcha.
Fatty: You can have my pineapples if I can actually SEE YOU SOMETIME in the next rest of my lifetime.
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