The Gang Dials It In For Christmas Week!

B and I had kind of a boozy Friday night. No, we didn’t go out. There were no shots involved. No funnels or shotgunning or keg stands to be seen. But somehow, sitting on our couch, we managed to get abso-toot-iloot-ly wasted.

In our defense, he did have his office holiday party that afternoon, and I was sick and drugged up on DayQuil. A long ass week had taken its toll, and we found solace at the bottom of a few cocktails bottles.

On Saturday morning, our eyes creaked open to cotton mouth, pounding headaches, and the foul stench of regret. The only thing either of us could fathom doing, other than crying out for our mommies, was the getting of Hangover Grease into our tumultuous bellies. Grateful that our super skeezy Giant is only a block away, we donned whatever clothes were within arm or toe’s reach and ventured out into the bright, BRIGHT sunshine.

As we made our way past the neighbor’s stoop, where there is always a gathering of 3 – 45 persons who could have walked off the set of Friday, we couldn’t help but take note of our own questionable appearances… especially in the context of our environment. As we’ve mentioned before, B and I don’t exactly live in the nicest part of DC. I wouldn’t call it unsafe… a better word is “entertaining”. Nevertheless, it definitely has, ahem, character. Loads of character. At times, WAY too much character. But I digress…

B: Seriously, we look like crackheads right now. You’re shaking and clearly going through some kind of withdrawal… in a hoodie. Meanwhile, I’m wearing soccer shorts under workout pants, a black t-shirt (Ed. note: unfortunately not black stallion), a Banana Republic trench coat, and some kind of slippers.

LiLu: So, what you’re trying to say is… we fit right in at the Giant?

B: 100%, baby. 100%. (He pauses, and looks off towards the rising sun…) You know, we may be wildly destructive… but we’re so damn good together.

LiLu: Indeed we are, my dear. Now quick, reach around the bum sucking the spilled beer off the floor and grab the tater tots and champagne… it’s time for brunch hair of the dog!

**Leaving on a jet plane this afternoon for the wintery wilderness of Massachusetts… I’ll be posting quick funnies, quirky videos, and classic LiLu humiliations, but I’ll also probably be totally dialing it in since none of y’all are around. Enjoy your families, your friends, your holidays, your vacations and feasts and libations. Truly? I heart you dearly, and hope that you all have a warm, cozy, fill-your-heart-with-memories-you’ll-hold-near-and-dear-forever kind of week.**