For the past week or so, I’ve officially been on the job hunt. You know, rather than just having an ear to the ground.
And it? Officially blows.
The actual search itself is a pain in the ass, of course, but you know what makes it totally, completely, unabashedly suck balls?
When you have absolutely no idea you want to do with your life.
I’ve looked everywhere for ideas; the classifieds, find-jobby books, friends, networking, the interwebs, my mom, YOUR mom… and nothing. I have inklings, to be sure. I have tiny tidbits of notions of what I may want to do with my life. But each of them take me in a completely different direction: Psychological analysis? Hospitality and/or Event Planning? International relations? Dancing to 80s music? Drinking heavily and with reckless abandon?
How the hell do I pull those all together?
More than one person, older and wiser than I, has told me that choosing a career path is often a result of realizing what you DON’T want to do, rather than what you DO. This makes sense, to be sure, but I am just so envious of those assholes people who grew up knowing they wanted to be a veterinarian, or an attorney, or a fireman, or a meth addict who gets high and stomps into the woods to hack the burls off of trees to sell to carpenters. (Someone’s been watching too much Intervention…)
I’ve tried remembering what I wanted to be when I was younger, but all I’ve got is singing along to my dad’s Beach Boys albums when I was 14 10 7 years old, imagining that they would pull up to the house in their touring van and tell me that OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO AMAZINGLY THE AWESOME AND YOU MUST JOIN THE BAND IMMEDIATELY!!! Can’t you just see a little girl in a tutu fitting right in with these guys? I’m sure they make wee Birkenstocks.
(Ed. note: I cannot sing. Not at all. I can sing like Sarah Palin can debate. It’s a really cute-yet-pathetic effort, but it’s just that- an effort.)
Anyhoosits, it ain’t going so hot. Never mind the fact that basically every person I know on the planet, their moms, and a few stray dogs are looking to make a career change right now, apparently. I guess we were all inspired by the economy PLUMMETING INTO THE TOILET in a matter of a week. Coolio.
I need to go on a spirit journey, or something, a la Wayne’s World. Where is MY Jim Morrison, dammit??
To quote the ever-fantabulous and chucklesome “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia“, (AKA “Sunny”), which has very quickly become my #2 favorite comedy of all time- after Arrested Development, obvs:
Charlie: Why don’t I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze into a job cannon, and fire off to jobland, where jobs grow on jobbies!
Why indeed, Charlie. Why indeed.
{ 33 comments }
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a pro basketball player. Never mind I’m 5’2″ and the least athletic person who ever lived. In other words, childhood dreams suck, and the faster you embrace the bleakness of reality the better.
I worked for the Patriots when I was in high school. I constructed an elaborate fantasy that I would be serving Drew Bledsoe water, he would fall in love with me, and my path would be set.
So, yeah, I wanted to be a gold digger when I grew up. Awesome.
“Psychological analysis? Hospitality and/or Event Planning? International relations? Dancing to 80s music? Drinking heavily and with reckless abandon?”
World Leader would be perfect for you, all necessary critria met!
I have to ask… Didn’t you think it was a trifle unnecessary to see the crack in the indian’s bottom?
So, I remember reading someplace the 5 most stressful life events… I believe they were:
1. Death
2. Marriage/Divorce
3. Changing Jobs
4. Having Kids
5. Moving
So yeah, it’s ok to be stressful. Oh, and from all the things you like and enjoy… to me that just screams “Politician” haha
Shannon: You know who kills dreams? Communists.
Lem: I’m completely surprised. No, really, 100%. Shocked. You know, because we’re two such ethical and morally-upstanding human beings.
Fiona: World leader? Interesting… Can my 401K be in China’s market?
66: You get me. You really get me.
Doug: I’ve heard that my entire life. Unfortunately, my sordid history of sex, drugs and rock n’ roll disqualifies me, I believe. If only I had a DUI, maybe I’d have a shot.
God, I’m such a dork. I wanted to be an architect because I thought it put my favorite things together…art and math. I’m so ashamed. Other boys wanted to be firefighters, cops, quarterbacks…and I wanted to design office buildings. How depressing.
But the whole “it’s about finding out what you don’t want to do” is dead on. I’m sure you’re qualified for something so that’s where you’ve got to start. Find a job that needs your skills and go from there. You’ll at least have a chance to see what motivates you and what doesn’t, and in the meantime you’ll make some money to feed your reckless, heavy drinking.
We’re in a new age of politicians now though… no one cares anymore, we all want to live vicariously through our leaders. I mean seriously, you can’t believe that W isn’t snorting coke in the Oval Office right now…
Well, if you can’t be a politician, maybe this?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bodyman
(apparently they get paid realllllly well)
Having worked for the same company for over 26 years now, I can tell you that the thought of sitting in a key shop reading a novel and waiting for the next customer to walk in is looking pretty good. Work is highly overrated.
I Have Thoughts: Welcome! Is it too soon to be asking if you’re hiring? I hear consultants drink a lot.
Doug: Actually, that would be pretty badass. I could get into being a right-hand WOman.
Gilahi: No kidding. Where do I sign up to be paid just for being my own damn adoramable self? You know, without the whole “having to put out” thing?
I gotta team with Shannon here in all my dream-killer glory. I think the best you can hope for is a series of meaningless and progressively less painful jobs. Best o’ luck with that.
Sign me,
Ray o’ sunshine
A good piece of advice I got when I was in your place was to write down everything I had ever done (at all of my jobs) in two categories: what I liked, and what I didn’t like. Once I had written down all of my likes, I re-listed them again into things I wanted to do vs. didn’t want to do, and was then able to start looking for jobs that fit the profile.
Lacochran: Sigh. That is one of my greatest fears. Less painful sounds good, though…
Ryane: That’s what the lady at the job placement agency said. Only thing was, I couldn’t come up with a single thing I liked about my job now…
Well, you’re right. We do drink…and often. And it’s never too early to ask if we’re hiring! What do you know about finance?
IHT: Ummmm… more than I know about fixing VW van enginges, that’s for sure!
I thought consulting was mostly about BSing. I’m great at BSing.
You should’ve bs’d about knowing finance. You’ve failed your first test. I suggest you start drinking…NOW!
IHT: Why won’t someone just pay me to booze?? Problem solved.
You could work here…http://www.waabi.org/
That’s so funny- just today I was googling all the hospitality associations in the city. It’s like we’re BFF already.
I used to know a guy who worked at some alcoholic beverage association on New Hampshire Ave. They had happy hour at noon every Friday.
Googling… NOW
It was right off Dupont Circle.
Just whatever you do, don’t become an attorney. Trust me.
IHT: You have sent me on a mission. Now explain to my boss why I’m not doing his expense reports…
Katherine: I will trust you. I also became 4x happier to know you. Although hopefully, now that I no longer have a car, I will have no reason to seek your advice… but with my 25th bday coming up, who’s to say?
I second what Katherine said.
Unfortunately, because you are smart, you will probably hate all of your jobs until you are at least 35. That’s just the way it works…I finally love my job, and I may be about to lose it because of budget…but there are always opportunities for smart people. It just takes time.
I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. If I find a clue, I’ll send it your way. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be a child psychologist/flight attendant.
I am with you on the job thing. It is really stressful and not any fun looking for a new job.
I just clicked over to tell you that I could write this post a thousand times over – I have lived every emotion, every feeling, every frustration posted here. And I wanted to tell you that you’re not alone.
And then I saw 27 comments. It didn’t dawn on me. And then it did. 27 comments. Is that a record? Because it just goes to show: It’s universal. As much as we’d all love to have that Purpose and dedication in life….I guess it’s less common than we think. It’s hard. It’s hard to have diverse interests and love them all and not be able to pick one. It’s hard to let that fear keep you from REALLY pursuing ANY of them, because ohmigod, what if I pick the wrong one?
It is a process. And at every job, through every experience, you learn something. Trial and error and no regrets — and a lot of hope.
xoxo
LiLu – You will find something, you really will. Hang in there!!
Fearless: You’re too kind… and I certainly hope you’re right. I’ve got plenty of time, although patience has never been a virtue of mine…
Kristin: I very seriously considered becoming a flight attendant for Southwest when I moved here last year; I even applied. Guess I didn’t have the stuff…
LBluca77: Thanks, chica. It’s good to know I’m not alone.
Caitlin: Granted almost half of those comments are mine, but still, yes, it definitely seems to be a subject that hits home for a lot of people. I am not alone. Trial and error it is… look out world! I’m a-looking to fuck up!
Ryane: You’re so sweet- thanks for the encouragement!
Due to recent conversations, I wasn’t even going to comment on this, but know that I know where you’re coming from.
Also, that Sarah Palin debating – Beach Boy singing analysis? Genius. Wow. Please post to politico asap.
Brett: Thanks girl- I know you get it
See ya next week…
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Who are these people that knew what career they wanted at 17? I’m still trying to figure out who I am and what I want. And I have this sneaking suspicion that it won’t ever go away.
This blog should be read in its entirety, because you are simply fearless. It takes courage to put yourself out there the way that you do.