In light of this extremely insulting post today on DCBlogs.com, I’m going to go out of my way to write the most superficial, light-hearted, non-meaningful, anti-soul searching post I can muster. Here are some entirely inane and superfluous tidbits from my life lately. Enjoy. Or don’t. It doesn’t really matter, after all, because this is MY SPACE to write whatever I WANT.
LiLu: if i only had a dollar for everytime curtis or barry asked me if i’d seen an email they sent me, or something that they put on my desk, i swear i could pay my rent for a month
Turducken: barry emails me, then calls before i even get the email
Liv: i know, it makes me want to stick sharp things in them
and be like, “oh hey, those scissors i stabbed you with… did you feel that?”Turducken: ………………….
Liv: Too much?
Turducken: (reaches into desk, pulls out suspicious bottle)… why don’t you try one of my anti-anxiety pills… and let’s just see how that goes.
Health Update: I do not have heart problems! I have A) heartburn and/or B) stress. I need Tums, an Arrested Development marathon, and a nap. Thanks to all who were concerned 
And lastly, reason #4,912 why I love my boyfriend:
B: i just threw away all my condoms ever
because i won’t be doing other girlsLiv: oh REALLY… you’re so sweet
B: if you break up with me you owe me like $12 though
He’s such a romantic.
{ 20 comments }
Good thing I am working from home today, because that was gut bustingly funny and people in the outer-world would have thought me a loon when I released howls of laughter.
I am a lucky girl.
Um, this is such fluff. Please don’t blog until you find a cure for cancer or the meaning of life.
Or maybe an explanation as to why I am hungry an hour after lunch…I will take that too.
We need to hang out, Asap. Your blogs always make my day! You rock!
…and congrats on not having heart problems!!
Yeah I pretty much ♥ you commenters and linkers right now.
Make sure B gets the emergency condom in the glovebox. Um… not that I advocate keeping one there or anything.
Lem: You are hungry an hour after lunch because
Venomiss: I heart you too. Jaleo sometime? I’ve never been but I hear it’s fab. (From you.)
66: We are carless… he has nowhere to hide.
Or B could be like a certain, ahem, Burger Boy and keep nothing in his wallet but an ID and a condom.
Excuse me, but he also had the number of another woman in that wallet. Get it right.
PS: WTF do I DO with that wallet? It stares at me and mocks me daily. Would maybe B like the condom, we can open a credit card with the id, and perhaps call the woman and warn her?
Glad your ticker is ok…..
damn he threw the condoms away? he could have donated to the zipcode angry hate sex campaign whenever I get my mojo back.
We should probably take the condom. I threw all mine away too and sort of forgot that there might be a time when WE actually need one.
If we open a credit card, I am totally unleashing myself on Piperlime. I miss my porn.
Zip: Mmmm… angry hate sex…
The woman with the card was probably the one he got the condom from. Was ‘Free Clinic’ or ‘Planned Parenthood’ printed anywhere above her name?
pssst redtube.com free porn
Does anybody want to link the “free porn” with the “deep” to get a dirty joke or two?
its sad I know where all the free porn is too…….sigh
Condoms, free porn, and identity theft… I think we’ve done pretty well today as far as going out of our way to NOT discover the meaning of life.
Free porn IS the meaning of life! Sheesh.
Well, hot damn. Hopefully this will be up to a certain contributing editor’s standards, as far as being “meaningful”!
So does this mean many money shots in your future, more piz in the snizz, or do you make him aim elsewhere?
You’ve changed my life with your post. So, sorry,… FAIL!