And now back to your normal programming… thanks for enduring the “shmoopiness“!
In general, I’m not a big fan other other people. This is partially because I am self-centered and they are often in my way. It is also because, seriously, some people are the most effing oblivious creatures ever and they are in everyone’s way.
I really don’t understand how it could be so difficult to be aware of your surroundings. When you are on a sidewalk, in a subway station, or an otherwise likely crowded venue of sorts where there are many people milling around, and most likely following a natural path of movement, maybe you shouldn’t STOP AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ESCALATOR AND CHECK YOUR METRO MAP. Perhaps, if you were, say, at the National Gallery this weekend, it would more prudent to NOT STOP IN THE DOORWAY OF AN INTERSECTION TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHERE THE DA VINCIS ARE. (Room 6 in the West Building, btw.) And I know that small children are somewhat necessary for the propagation of the human race and all, but it would be ohsogreat if you could just NOT TEACH THEM HOW TO TIE THEIR SHOES ON THE CORNER OF MASS AVE WHEN PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO GET TO WORK….
Don’t you just love tourist season? Assholes. All of them.
I’m sorry, I’m a Yankee. I walk fast and talk faster, I don’t like making small talk, and in the amount of time we “exchanged pleasantries” I could have finished the stupid photocopying or scanning or whatever inane thing it is that you need now already. In fact, in the time it took you to walk over here and annoy me, you could have done it your damn self three times over. Well, maybe not. You are kind of an idiot.
(Aren’t I just the best assistant ever…)?
Excuse me while I get back to my giant glass of Hatorade now.
Btw, I licked the computer screen when I saw these this morning… they should be in my closet by tomorrow:
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/32706635/c/423.html
And I might have squealed when I saw these (you can’t prove it. And yes I am five, what?):
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/32703583/c/764.html
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Oh, my fellow New Englander, I am glad we are joined together in our hate of small talk.
I can’t stop laughing and I licked the screen at both of those links of fine shoes you posted.
I share hatred of all things called tourists. So, is it a compliment most people think I am from New York, when in fact I am from Kentucky. I think its funny and they almost faint when I tell them, no sorry Kentucky. Maybe I should just say I am from Howard Beach, Queens and say I am mafia.
Spoken like a true prodigy.
I once used mspaint to display my irritation with tourists, especially those who walk 5-wide across a metro platform. They suck, but their fate is justified.
Oh you will love this, I was over at the White House visiting my Secret Service pal and a tourist came up and asked to see the Gold and the Declaration of Independence in the Treasury Building. His response “Sir, all you are going to see if the 4 exterior walls of the building”
ha
As a Jersey girl, I feel this way everytime I head back to DC. I love the city but I let the rage dissipate while I lived there.
Now that I am back to people moving at normal speed in the NYC area…I CANNOT DEAL WITH THE slowness.
This is me on the road in MD/DC/VA everytime visit now,
“JUST GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
in a scream.
KassyK- it is a good thing for people everywhere that I sold my car… not just because I have a disturbing tendency to fall asleep behind the wheel, but also because I HAVE THE WORST ROAD RAGE EVER AND WANT TO KILL EVERYONE AROUND ME OHMIGOD GO FASTER OR I AM GOING TO START PLAYING BUMPER CARS WITH YOUR GODDAMN HONDA ACCORD MOFO!!!
I mean, yeah. I agree.
Lem- amen for Yanks.
Zip- I LURVE watching other people be mean to dumb tourists. Or even better, doing it myself. Yes, I’m evil, obvi. Life is so much more fun…
i-66: oh my lord, that drives me insane. One of these days I’m really just going to shout, “excuse me, perhaps we could SHARE the sidewalk, you fucktards?!” how do you not notice the throng of people who NEED TO GET TO WORK bottling up behind your?? Sheesh.
live: you should roll to the White House with me one afternoon, its fun to watch my friends be mean to tourists
Oh, it’s a date! That sounds like a perfect let’s-blow-off-work-Friday afternoon, or better yet, Saturday (more people to make fun of)!
Um. Request participation.
Ha- let’s have a blogger “making fun of tourists” happy hour!
Omg that would be too much fun – all we have to do is hang out in Lafayette Park and laugh our asses off. Also the Mall area, but its even better when my buddy is working.
I’m totally down- either one would be hiLARious
My favorites are the ones who, on a single lane escalator going down, stand stock still. When stuck behind them, I put my hands up in the air as if I’m riding a rollercoaster. Whomever is with me is often mortified but whatever. If they are going to treat the escalator as a ride, then so am I. Fuckers.
Hahaha Frecks that’s hilarious- I’m totally doing that from now on. Start a revolution!
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