1) My ass was just hanging out. At work.
(And no, I’m not a stripper. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
But there IS something wrong when you work in an office in downtown D.C., and while you’re faxing some boring something or other, you realize the office is a bit drafty. On your thigh. And you’re wearing a knee-length skirt.
AWESOME.
I can only hope I noticed it before anyone else did. I don’t remember anything tearing, which unfortunately makes me think it could have come that way (it’s new). Thanks a lot, pretty new skirt. You jerk.
Thank goodness that my mom is crazy and sent me a sewing kit in a care package when I started my new job (baby’s all grown up!). Because my grandmother taught me to sew pillows, blankets, and costumes galore when I was wee (she was a home-ec teacher for some forty years- cutest thing ever? I think so), I was in and out of the bathroom in less than 5 minutes with a perfectly mended pretty new skirt, and hopefully no one was the wiser. If they were, I’m sure I’ll hear about it at the next drunken employee outing.
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2) I worked out at lunch and because I was so proud of myself, I then went to one of the many generic cash-only-salad-slash-lunch-bar-but- look-we-have-sandwiches-too lunch joints downtown, and very smugly attempted to make a super healthy grilled chicken salad. Only, there was no grilled chicken left. At 1pm. A stockboy was very attentively putting away milk nearby, so I bothered him.
Me: Excuse me, do you have any more grilled chicken?
Stockboy: [a wee bit bewildered] What?
Me: Grilled chicken. For salads. Is there more in the back?
Stockboy: [slightly puzzled, looks at place where chicken would be] It’s empty.
Me: Riiiight… [fighting not to be rude. Much more difficult to do when I'm hungry.] But is there more, perhaps? In the back?
Stockboy: [somewhat confused] Oh, no, we grill it in the mornings. It must be gone…
Me: Okay… but don’t you have like, five chicken sandwiches on your menu? [Including a frickin Grilled Chicken Sandwich?] You’re out of all of them?
Stockboy: [now completely baffled] I… um… let me go see if…
Two minutes later, the kid proudly hands me some grilled chicken (he even asked if I wanted it grilled. Srsly.) from the sandwich bar. Mission accomplished. I know I probably put the kid way out of his comfort zone, but seriously, out of chicken? A salad bar? At 1pm? Unacceptable. Plus, it’s not every day I’m feeling so damn healthy and all. It needs to be taken advantage of.
It’s like when my bar magically runs out of mint because we can’t fucking stand to make even one more mango-raspberry-kiss-my-lilly-white-ass mojito. I mean, what? Smooches.
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3) And lastly, there’s a girl in my building wearing these today…
Now I am an admitted shoe-whore, and take no shame in blatantly judging a woman based on her footwear. Therefore, I hate when anyone has shoes on that might be more fabulous than mine, natch. But frankly, I’m just not sure about these. They’re either completely awesome, or just way, way too much.
What do you think? Let’s decide, Fug Girl style…
A) Only JLo or Posh could pull those off, but they are fab.
B) Blech. Let’s have Marissa write a hilarious post tearing them to shreds, stat.
C) Meh. So you put peep toe with mary jane with chunky heel. Now you’re just trying too hard.
D) I LURVE them and am googling maryjanepeeptoeblackchunkyheel as we speak.
Ah, shoes. Because in the words of Lindsay Bluth Fünke, “Small price to pay for self-esteem, Michael.”
Update: Apparently many of you were as intrigued by these- I’m going to go ahead and say it- FABULOUSLY FIERCE shoes. Obviously, the bitch on the 2nd floor who has them must die. And more importantly, here’s the link:
The Fierce-ness
Other fab ones I found while searching for the pair she had on:
And OHMIGOD LURVE WHY AM I POOR:
Gorgeous Truly is a Tangible Thing*
*These disappeared, it is teh sad… but probably a good thing, since they were $300 and I was totally thinking about it.
{ 17 comments }
Since Marissa is evil (and I say that in the most adoring way possible), she will probably tear them to shreds anyway. So go with one of the other options. It’s a 2-for-1 opportunity!
If I saw the RIGHT woman wearing those shoes (neither J-Ho, or Pish-Posh are the right woman, by the by) I would need hit the brain pacemaker I had installed to get me to think about something else.
oh those are adorable shoes, I must have them – do you have a link to buy said shoes. I just ordered some new shoes today for work, I am actually doing a freaking shoe post tommorow haha.
Great taste – I would like to see Marissa do a post on them though.
i-66: true story. At least they’re not flip flops with big-toe-cut-out nylons…
I think you’re right, RR… I think they might be totally fierce. Now I just have to figure out if I can pull them off.
I want them. Badly.
Zip, Kate: Updated with links!
I just ordered them — you are awesome!!!
Zip- you know it! I always love to meet a fellow shoe-whore…
Those shoes make a fucking miracle. I LOVE them. I want to run down the street and twirl while wearing them. I want to pair them with a crisp white shirt and wide leg pants with suspender and be fabulous in them. I want to get naked and jump someone wearing JUST THEM.
I was happy when I saw size 8 was left – muahahahaha I know what will go with them perfectly too……….
I love shoes – I want the Manalo vintage Mary Janes too…….
Damn, Lem, I need a cold beverage after that… or a man…
Zip- you stink. My feet would laugh at me if I tried to squeeze them into an 8. But I’m glad they’ll have a good home.
Ok, I have to say…I own these shoes and I got them at DSW for a steal. Head there, now…those fierce shoes are in the area and can be had on the cheap!
Thanks for the heads up Ryane! I luuuuuuurve DSW!!!!
I’m hoping Ryane is a size 8, cause I’m SO going to try to borrow those babies.
Too funny — you commented on my post today, so I came to read your blog, and recognized the chicken comment — you were on the Express today!
I don’t even read the Express, but because I’m sore after my attempt to run the last couple of days, coupled with laziness to bike in the rain, coupled with missing my bus at the stop and having to run to the next one (mine has no newspaper thingies), I grabbed the Expressand read in the bus. And you your chicken comment was totally there.
Awesome!
Holla! Lem told me this morning and I was all, no way I’m awesome! I didn’t even know they did that until a couple weeks ago, I was reading the Express over this girl’s shoulder and went, “Huh… that sounds really familiar… holyshitthatsmine!” Way cool.
(I’m not a dork, I swear… okay, I totally am.)
Oh man… I’m late. Fashionably, right? Or shambley… Whichever.
I was in Baltimore eating delicious crab cakes. Can you blame me?
Well, unfortunately I cannot tear them to shreds, as it were. Although the half-moon chunky heel isn’t really my thing, I can see these lookin’ good though — damn good even — on someone who rocks less sweatervests and more, I don’t know, flapper dresses? Flapper dresses are hott.
Verdict: Fierce with the right ensemble.
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