I hate small talk. No, actually, I despise small talk. Unless you’re hitting on me, or want to know where I got my shoes (because that I can understand), I do not want to talk to you, perfect stranger. Or acquaintance. Or co-worker. I Do Not Want To Talk To You about the weather, how tired you are, TGIF, the season change, last night’s LOST, a case of the Mondays, or TPS reports. Meaningless conversation is just that; meaningless. I guess it’s the Masshole in me, but you know what? I don’t care. I have better things to do than listen to your drivel. Like nothing.
This is not to say that we can’t keep pleasant company; I’m the first to give a smile and the appropriate head nod in my apartment and office buildings, or if we’re the only two people walking past each other on the street. I say good morning to my security guard and it’s nice when the UPS man tells me to have a good weekend on Friday. I go out of my way to give a genuine smile to those who tender my money for the various things I buy each day (after all, most boring. job. ever.) These things are common courtesy (or should be), and yes, they are, for lack of a better word, nice. HOWEVER, once you cross the barrier from “polite town” into “obnoxious and wasting precious minutes of my life-ville”… we have a problem.
I’m really not a bitch, I just appreciate efficiency. My life is very precious, time is fleeting, so unless you have something interesting and out of the ordinary to say, all I’m asking is that you leave me out of it. Seeing as we’re all ADD nowadays I get bored easily, and you know what, sweet old lady on the train who wants to tell me how her granddaughter is just like me and oh don’t worry about what you want to do with your life because Jesus has a plan for all of us? You’re part of the problem.
(Just kidding. I love sweet old ladies. Just not when I’m trying to sleep. And be un-religious.)
On the other hand, I absolutely LOVE it when someone comes up to me and says something completely out of the ordinary (but, you know, without a creepy vibe.) If you can surprise me, or make me laugh within the first 30 seconds of meeting me, we need to be friends. Because I can make funnies too (in a lovable, sort of dorky kinda way.)
{ 1 trackback }
Comments on this entry are closed.