Who fucked with my pumpkin!!! or, Welcome to my corner.

Is fuck allowed? I can say fuck, right? Good. Because after eight years of working in restaurants, I think I utilize that wonderfully versatile word as frequently as “and,” “the,” and “fucktard.” Oh wait…

Anyway, after being totally inspired by such amazing women/bloggers/authors as Jen Lancaster, Crystal, and The Fug Girls, I finally decided (read: was forcibly coerced by my darling and threatening- I mean, talented friend Rob- excuse me for a shameless plug but he really is amazing) to start my own little story-time corner on the world wide web. Which really is a fantastic idea, because I’m always reading other people’s chronicles of their seemingly ordinary, yet humor-filled and deeply touching lives, and think how nice it will be years from now when they can relive all their memories so vividly? And I will have nothing.

SOOOOOOOOO, I guess it’s about that time.

My To-Do List:

• Start 401K
• Somehow start diary/blog of some sort, so then when 80 don’t look at picture of me in red pajamas destroying a gigantor pumpkin and wonder what the hell and why?

But that’s another story for another day. Suffice to say, the pumpkin had to die.

So here I am, 23 (for another month) and finally beginning to record the trivial nothings that make up my very wonderful, sometimes crazy, and most definitely scatter-brained life. Yay me!

I am, in general, sort of a mess (read: forgetful and accident-prone, but fortunately only the kind of accident that make me look like I am 12 years old because yes I’ve skinned BOTH knees in the past month- drunk- wearing flip flops, NOT heels, and yes it was two different occasions….. rather than the kind of accident that lands me in the hospital.) (Yay, new health insurance that just kicked in! Just in case irony decided to kick me in the ass for that one.) However, I love the spontaneous craziness that is my life and wouldn’t have it any other way.

I just moved to DC after a lovely 4 year stint in the Cack (North Carolina.) I am enthralled with the city; somehow, as big as it is, it manages to retain a true neighborhood-esque quality that I adore. I truly feel at home here. Walking around downtown is an activity in and of itself, what with all the gorgeous buildings, continuous going-ons, and people watching. I live in a fantastic rowhouse with kickass roommates, (Hi Sara! Hi Amy!) and walk down 14th Street to work in the morning. I’ve also been trying to change myself, as it is sort of a clean slate in a sense, and learned that partying less (or less hard, anyway) does not equal less fun.

(This non-drinking stint brought to you by Dell, or rather in the memory of a very beautiful 17″ Dell laptop BOUGHT LAST OCTOBER that I decided it would be fun to dump an entire glass of some generic Hi-C substance and Absolut Pear onto. Into. All over. While asleep. And then hours later, when I woke up and discovered my idiocracy (great movie), I immediately tried to turn it back on. Which is, apparently the WORST THING you can do to a possibly-fried electronic device. DO NOT TRY TO TURN ON A MOISTENED ELECTRONIC DEVICE until it is totally, completely, bone-dry. I suck.)

So, after a couple days of moping around, I realized that “drunken moron” is not my best color and decided to quit drinking for a while. I bought a used laptop on ebay that sits far, far away from me, my bed, my nightstand, my arm’s length, and my breathing-out-sphere. (Obviously I made that phrase up, and I’m really not sure that it works, but you get the idea.)

Hmm… perhaps some work now… Yay Friday!