You all know this game by now. Time for another installment of “The Shiz My Boyfriend Says.” Woot!
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Watching the cats, which are about a year old now (!).
B: Are they going to get bigger?
Me: Maybe a little bit, but no, this is pretty much it.
B: Goddamm it! I wanted giant cats!
Me: The hell? You said you were sad when they got bigger!
B: I either wanted tiny cats or HUGE cats! Not medium sized!
Me: ……….
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While watching “Fringe“…
B: Wouldn’t it suck if your son died and you stole a new one from another dimension and then HE died?
Me: Well, couldn’t you just get another from another dimension?
B: It’s not that easy!
Me: You don’t know that.
B: I’ve done it twice already.
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Sitting on the couch…
B: I’m gonna go get my poop on. Oh wait… we’re out of toilet paper. Never mind.
Me: You’re not going to poop because there’s no TP? We have paper towels.
B: Nah…. I went earlier today. Not worth it. It’s not a diarrhea or anything.
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B looks up from the Medieval-ish book he’s reading, A Game of Thrones.
B: I want a Direwolf!
Me: Qué?
B: It’s a wolf as big as a horse.
Me: But what about the kitties?
B: Well it wouldn’t eat US or the kitties… only other people! [Dumbfounded] You don’t want this?!
Me: Baby, we didn’t get a DOG because we don’t have room.
B: Well, YEAH, but what if size didn’t matter? What if we had a farm??
Me: Well… can I ride it?
B: Of COURSE you can fucking ride it! Don’t be an ijit! I mean, look at Murray. He’s cute and all, but he’s so SMALL. And how many throats has he ripped out? NONE!!
Me: ……….
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Happy weekend, y’all!
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